Over the Limit
by Autopsy Gremlin
Summary: The Doctor and River make further use of their cell phones, and, as expected, chaos ensues. From a hatred of hats to Scary Mad Ponds, trouble is sure to occur when the mad man and his wife use their phones. Sequel to Texting Limit, but can work as a stand alone. Collection of oneshots. R&R!


**A/N: **I know the whole cell phone thing is kind of ridiculous but it's silly and I like it. So this is kind of a sequel to Texting Limit, but you don't really have to read the other one for it to make sense, though if you want to that's awesome and you'd be my favorite. Timelines don't really matter with this. I needed fluff to cope with Matt leaving, so here it is. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing at all but the plot bunnies and the rest of the universe. (Just kidding guys, I don't own it.)

***hello sweetie***

She was on a _dig. _

_Working._

And he was texting her.

_Over and over. _

And her phone was on vibrate.

And it was stuck in her boot.

And even though it was a new fancy 51-st century phone, it was digging into her ankle.

And every time she got a message she would kick out her foot a little bit in surprise.

And everyone around her now thought she had a weird foot condition.

_Fabulous. _

He had had an epiphany.

A really big, really fun, really _cool _epiphany.

With his favorite things, too!

River, and hats.

Admittedly, he did like one of those things more than the other.

But hats really were pretty cool.

He didn't know why River didn't like them.

Well, actually, he did- that was his epiphany.

And he was really excited about figuring it out.

So he was texting River.

She had told him not to text her when she was on a dig…

But, _hats! _

It was too important. She would have gotten mad at him if he didn't tell her.

She was cute when she was mad, though. Her nose got all scrunchy and she would shake her head so that her hair became very distracting and bouncy.

But still.

Mad River often told Amy why she was mad, and then there was Mad Amy and then there was Mad Rory and Mad Amy was _mean _and Mad Rory had a sword and paternal instincts and _uck. _

Not fun.

Better safe than sorry, he thought. He didn't want to have to deal with Mad Ponds.

Mad Ponds were _scary. _

***hello sweetie***

River didn't think she had ever been happier to see people heading off to lunch. Standing up and brushing dust off her shirt and pants, she walked over to the side of the dig site, reached into her boot, and pulled out her phone. The screen lit up, and she sighed heavily when she saw the _eleven _messages that her lovely husband had left her.

_River!_

_ River!_

_ River!_

_ RIVER!_

_ RIVER!_

_ RIVER!_

_ It's important!_

_ Very important!_

_ It involves hats!_

_ And you!_

_ I know why you don't like my hats!_

River rolled her eyes before responding.

_Do you, now?_

Barely a second passed before the phone buzzed again.

_ Yes! _

She grinned.

_Well then, what is it?_

Again, barely a second.

_It's because of your hair, isn't it!_

River raised her eyebrows.

_How so?_

He took a few seconds before responding.

_Your hair makes the hats not balance and look all off kilter!_

She was somewhat offended by that one.

_Are you saying I don't look good in hats?!_

She could just imagine him on the other end, freaking out and thinking he hurt her feelings. As expected, the next message reflected that image:

_No no no! You look great in hats! You look better than I do in hats! Your hair just makes them fall off all the time!_

River snorted.

_Nice save, sweetie. _

Her phone was silent for a moment, then buzzed again.

_River?_

She sighed.

_Yes?_

Again, the phone buzzed after nearly a second.

_If it's not because you're jealous of how good I look in hats, why don't you like my hats?_

River actually laughed out loud at that one.

_I don't not like them… They're just silly. _

She could just picture his relieved sigh.

_Oh, good, because I just picked up a new one in New New York a while ago. I don't have to bulletproof it now!_

She raised her eyebrows, alarmed.

_When have I ever shot your hats? I mean, I've thought about it, but usually I just throw them out of the TARDIS or hide them. _

The phone buzzed again.

_…spoilers?_

And then again.

_Actually, River, you never shoot my hats. You love them, actually, and let me wear them all the time and you even wear them too and we match and it's the best. Let me emphasize: you never shoot my hats. Ever. _

River rolled her eyes.

_Nice try, sweetie. And thanks for the idea. _

The phone buzzed.

_The matchy- hats idea?_

Oh, my.

_ No, the shooty hats idea. _

It buzzed again.

_Darn. _

_***_hello sweetie****

**A/N: **This was fun to write. I love fluffy River/Doctor :)

So, opinion- do you guys think I should expand this into a series of oneshots? If so, leave me a review and say so! If not, leave me a review anyway! I would love to hear your opinions on this, and constructive criticism is always welcome. I'm still getting used to this format. I'd also love fic prompts, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on Matt leaving Who- personally, I'm devastated, but am also excited for twelve. (Don't get me wrong, though, come Christmas I'm going to cry tears of blood.)

Thanks so much for reading, and please review!


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